Wednesday, August 24, 2005

RRR Lexicon

ROCK AND ROLL ROADTRIPS LEXICON

This list is provided to help you understand some of the words you may hear used by your RRR crew. By reading through this list you will have a better understanding of what is going on around you and what may be about to happen. RockandRollRoadtrips are more of an adventure tour/rollercoaster So have fun and feel free to add your own words to the list!

n.= noun v.= verb q.= question adj.= adjective adv.= adverb interj.= interjection

Abrethren – aj.: Being part of a gang, roadcrew, roadtripcrew. The act of being in a train. You are now “abrethren” with your fellow roadtrippers. Holdon!

Adjust – v.: my pants are bunchin up from sitting here zonin for the past couple hours and I gotta fix my nuts, please look away.

Ahead – adj.: The destination.

Assanine – adv.: the way most everybody in the world drives. Bad.

Bad – adj.: a multipurpose, word it can mean almost anything. Guess which one it means when the driver says “BAD LEANLEANLEANRIGHTMUTHERFUCKERSWERALLGONNADIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!”

Burninit – v.: See Floodinit

Busted - v.: This means our radar detector has failed us and now I must pull over to give this county some money to pay for the privilige of driving so fast.

Caravan – n.: A company of travelers journeying together, as across a desert or through hostile territory. 2 or more vehicles cruisin.

Clear – q.: Usually directed at copilot in the form of a question, it means is that lane clear/ am I clear to enter that lane/ is that lane clear ahead so I may accelerate and pass these slow ass mutherfuckers in front of me?

Convoy - n.: An accompanying and protecting force, as of ships or troops or fast crazy roadtrippinmobiles. A group, as of ships or motor vehicles, traveling together with a protective escort or for safety or convenience. 4 or more fast moving, skeeled drivers.

Cruisin – adj.: Punchin Katie and droppin into lowgear, this is highway drivin. usually can not be done in city or dense traffic.

Diving – v.: Changing multiple lanes quickly, usually in traffic.

Drafting – adv.: Drivin in someone elses slipstream, possibly closer then they would like.

Droppin – v.: Moving over one lane. A slow dive.

Dusting – v.: Cutting someone off as you go by them, spraying them with exhaust from your roadtrippinmobile. Suck that commie!

Ennis – adj.: A bad driver, from N.S. for No Skills

EeZee – adj.: How RRR makes it, that’s why you’re here.

Fivo – n.: The red and blues. The man. The fuzz. The hustle. The bogeyman. Mr Stinky head. Dr suck leather. County collection.

Floodinit – v.: Accelerating quickly, stomping on the gas

Gasininit – v.: See Floodinit

Gitkilld – adj.: What you don’t wanna do. We’ll try, really we will.

Gitsumgas – n.: What happens ~350 miles in Durango Sue.

Halayluya – interj.: An exultation, it means “This is GREAT!”

Heerweego – interj.: See Holdon

Holdon – interj.: Just how it sounds, something is about to happen so you better hold on! Can also mean halayluya!

Jorja – n.: Some dirty state on the southeast seaboard of the USA. Some dirty whore from the southeast seaboard of the USA.

Killdit – v.: What you do when you hit a deer going 80 miles an hour thru some mountains you’ve never driven through before at night.

Lean – interj.: Usually followed by the words “left” or “right”, this means your driver has chosen to take a corner at high speed so you better lean if you don’t want to tip over!

Leapfroggin – v.: Taking your turn at the front of the caravan or convoy.

Left – adj.: Port

Lowgear - n.: Reclining the seat and lowering it to assume a more comfortable position. Usually followed by zonin.

Median - n.: The grassy lane in the middle of the highway that looks like it is there just for you to pass all this damn traffic, but is in fact illegal to drive on. Has no known usefulness other then hiding the fivo.

Moovitmuthafukka – interj.: A phrase usually accompanying the push maneuver.

Munchies – n.: Roadtrip food. The stuff behind you in the blue coolers. May be asked in a polite manner or yelled in a desperate cry for nutrition, this can be a one word solicitation or offer from the driver for some of those delicious food items in the back.

Next – adj.: The next exit, sometimes the exit after you should have.

Over – adj.: The way we will flip if you don’t lean when the driver yells “LEAN!”. No shit, I’m not kidding. He’s crazy. You better got yo buckle belted up. Also associated with Yonder.

Owwer – n.: A division of time meaning anywhere between 45 minutes and 75 minutes. Not to be confused with “Owwee” meaning of course, the bruise you will get on your little knee after you fall off your bike. Poor baby.

Partner - n.: When you are driving as a single vehicle and another vehicle falls in behind and follows you at a distance. Not close enought to be a pull or suck.

Peebrake – n.: A dark place on the side of the road after about 2 hours. Did you ever see that one King of the Hill where Peg and the daughter were camped out at some rest stop cuz Hank quarantined the house with him and bobby in it cuz their insurance ran out and he wanted them out of the house so they woont gitkilld or something and they broke in the vending machines cuz they got hungry and the cops came at the end and busted peggy and she was all skreeemin and shit. That was funny.

Pig – n.: Police. Yell it if you see one before the driver, but that wont happen often. Bonus points if you do. Booo police, Yay bonus points!

Poser - n.: Someone that drives a piece of shit

Puddle – n.: The slow mass of everyone driving the same fucking speed in every fucking lane in front of you. Leading cause of roadrage.

Pulling – v.: When someone is driving in your slipstream. Usually you don’t mind it, you may even expect it. Antonyms include “draggin” , “suckin”. It can either be used like "I'm pullin that guy." or "I'm gonna dropin and pull off this guy to save gas."

Pump – v.: I need to pull over to get some of that beautiful black gold. May be asked as a questing meaning does anybody need a peebrake? cuz if you do I could gitsumgas.

Punching Katie – v.: Turning on the cruise control

Push – v.: Attempting to make the person in front of you go faster by driving close to their bumper. What some may call ‘tailgaiting’. Pushing air.

Radard – v.: When you drive past a weather radar out in the middle of nowhere at 444 in the morning, just when everybody was getting to sleep, for the first time all night everyone was asleep, then, all of a sudden, BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB there goes that mutherfuckin radar detector and everybodys awake. Man that shits funny.

Right – adj.: Starboard

Roadtrippinmobiles – n.: Any transport vehicle for a roadrip. Sometimes just called mobiles. Or rrrobiles.

Runner – n.: The lead car in a convoy.

Shakin – adv.: What you get when the driver screams “Holdon!”

Skeeled -adj.: Talented, good drivers, the opposite of ennis.

Skreeemin – v.: What you better not be doin in the drivers ear. Sometimes the driver will employ this tekneek to make the puddle move. Sometimes it works, sometimes it don’t, you know. Gotta try, cant just not try.

Skiing – v.: Changing multiple lanes constantly to try to find the fastest lane at every second. Usually assanine.

Slowass – adj.: What it seems like you always get stuck behind when you’re in a hurry. Multiple slowass make a puddle.

Smokin – v.: Leaving someone far behind, outrunning someone

Spraying – v.: Cutting someone off in the rain

Stuck – adv.: When you get boxed in traffic and you cant pass.

Suckin – v.: When somebody is riding your ass but when you pull over to let them go by they just slow down and wont go by you. Those bastards. See also “draggin”.

Tailin – adj.: Pullin up the rear at the end of a convoy.

Tekneek - ?.: The magic powers that our drivers seem to have. Don’t ask us, we don’t know, all we know is they can make things happen. Its crazy man I’m tellin ya.

Tharules – n.: The basic overall collection of rules on “How to not drive like an asshole”. This is a read for everyone.

Thumzup – v.: More of a visual gesture, it is usually used while passing someone of a more “ennis” class of driving to parlay the sentiment “you’re doing a great job of driving friend, keep up the good work.”

Train – n.: When multiple cars all drive in a line together, a convoy. Verb form is training. See also caravan.

Uhoh – interj.: Something you DO NOT want to hear your driver say. Our drivers are trained professionals, if they say “Uhoh” you are screwwwwwd.

Very – v.: The speed we drive. Do not ask if you don’t want to know.

Weirndererermererrerr – adj.: Great! The best ever, What its all about. The magic word. Can you say it? No you cant. Don’t even try, you will totally hurt yourself. HAHA! I told you you’d hurt yourself. Stupid. I told you. Stupid.

Werrallgonnadie- interj.: You definitely DONOT want to know what this means.

Where – q.: A one word question from the driver meaning “Where are we going?”. Sometimes our drivers get confused and have to be reminded, just be kind and remind them and you will be on your way for the ride of your life. Trust us. Well its too late now if you don’t, isnt it? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Whining – v.: Nunathat

Xcapade – n.: The extremely inebriated, sometimes best but least wellest rememberendendenderestistdistdest, these times are what can define a trip – bad, good, or weirndererermererrerr.

Xit – n.: when the driver gotstoo wake up.

Yornext – interj.: Directed at the slow ass in front of you, it means "Please move over out of the fast lane sir, it is apparent you do not realize that is my lane. I will let it slide this time but for your own sake, don’t let it happen again." BOO! Usually it is more of a silent command that is abrethren to the “push” maneuver accompanied by the “thumzup”, it usually comes after already moving one slowass out of your lane.

Yonder – n.: Over that there hill, thru them there trees, round that there bend, or any combination there of.

Zipper – n.: What I gotta not get cawt in at 444 in the morn when I just dove and sprayed on some ennis to get to a peebrake at the next after being stuck in a fucking puddle for the last owwer.

Zonin – adv.: A hypnotic state caused by driving on long straight roads for long periods of time.

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Political History part I

Alright, I'm back. Finally. I've been noticing in my weekly emails from blogrolling that I've actually been getting a lot of traffic over the last few weeks. Seems strange since I havent posted in months. Probably has something to do with their new format. I'm always having ideas for stuff to post, but by the time I get home I'm usually not motivated. And my boss knows about my blog now, so if I post during the day he'll know I'm slacking. I've wanted to come back, but after such a long hiatus I needed something good to get back into it. Today I was forwarded just that email, a beautiful history of the political parties which I am sure you will enjoy. I dont know where it came from originally, so if this is yours please dont sue me. Now on with the show.


The History of Conservatives & Liberals
History began some 12,000 years ago. Humans existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunter/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the winter and would go to the coast to live on fish and lobster in the summer.
The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundations of modern civilization, and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups: Liberals & Conservatives.
Once beer was discovered, it required grain, and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early human ancestors were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.
Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as "the Conservative movement." Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting, learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing the sewing, fetching and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the liberal movement. Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became known as 'girleymen.' Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy and group hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided.
Over the years, conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass.
Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white ! wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare. Another interesting revolutionary side note: most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men.Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists, are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't "fair" to make the pitcher also bat.
Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, soldiers, athletes, and generally, anyone who works productively outside government. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living. Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to "govern" the producers and decide what to do with the production.
Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America. They crept in after the Wild West was tame and created a business of trying to get MORE for nothing.Here ends today's lesson in world history. Now you know everything.

Monday, April 25, 2005

Now you motherf***ers have gone too far!

The great Charlie Daniels, American legend and great patriot, was in Iraq entertaining the troops recently. On one of his flights home one night some terrorist bastards had the balls to shoot at Charlie's helo. I've just gotta think they didnt know it was Charlie's helo. anyway read the story here, excerpted from H&C

Sunday, April 24, 2005

Def Sleep

The Deftones, under their alias Team Sleep, are coming to the Gypsy Tea Room Sunday May 15th. I've already got my ticket. Go to Front Gate Tickets to order yours today!


while you're there you might as well get tickets for Lonestar Rollergirls

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Recurring theme

More signs that countries around the world are getting the hint that they need to start embracing liberty and freedom for all of their citizens, not just men. Cuz they know if they dont, we'll help them. Check out these three links that show atleast some of the backwards ass countries are learning that women are people too.

Afghan women are starting their own businesses

Kuwaiti women get right to vote

Dubai aims to empower women

These are some pretty amazing times. At times quite frightening yes, but if thats all you see you're not paying attention. Some of it might just be talk, some might just be for show, but slowly but surely things are happening. Do you know why these things are happening? Do you think its cuz we have a government thats decided to be proactive in the pursuit of liberty and freedom for all, instead of just watching and hoping things get better? I know what I think.

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Quote of the day

I just thought of this one...

"I worked a 10 hour day that was about 12 hours too long. "

They cant all be gold.

Breaking the silence

This is worth making my first post in almost a month.
Apparently some SWAT team wants a monkey to do recon. Awesome!

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,153878,00.html

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Word of the Day

Got two words today, one real one I learned, one I just made up. Guess which is which

catenary
n : the curve theoretically assumed by a perfectly flexible and inextensible cord of uniform density and cross section hanging freely from two fixed points
"They sent me a diagram to show me the catenary of the refueling hose at different speeds. "

gluttonize
v : to make a total fucking pig of oneself
"Being unable to decide between the cake and the pie, I decided to gluttonize and get both. "