Sunday, June 20, 2004

Tough Decisions

Life is full of tough decisions and sometimes I'm just not up to the task. Take for instance the painful decision I have to make every night, how to relax after a long day. Part of me wants to drink a beer, while part of me wants to eat icecream. Now, take my word on this, these two things cannot coexist peacefully together. Its almost like the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, except a lot more personal. Its just a cold hard cruel fact that beer and icecream cannot be enjoyed together. This conflict tears at me every night and usually the beer wins. Now icecream and beer are not like cake and beer, which can, if done correctly, work alongside each other in mutual harmony to ensure my happiness. This must be done carefully tho, not all cake and beer can be mixed, and if done incorrectly, can result in ghastly, messy consequences. The answer, like so many things in life, lies in chocolate. A nice chocolate beer can very pleasantly complement a nice chocolate cake, or vice versa, depending on how you're looking at it. Unfortunately chocolate icecream and chocolate beer dont work nearly as good. The problem of course is milk. Everybody knows that beer and milk are arch enemies. They have been waging a war for the human body since the day the monks invented beer, and consequently cast milk out of the magical kingdom to live with the cows. Eventually the cows and milk worked out a symbiotic relationship that was beneficial to them both, tho it is up for debate who really got the brown end of the stick. Anyway, the problem is that I feel that I am neglecting my ice cream. Its not that I dont love it, I truly do, but beer just makes me feel ... special. What do I do? Is there a way to enjoy beer and icecream together? Or is the answer in creating an alcoholic icecream? wait, has that been done already? i remember seeing a "family guy" where Peter ate some butter rum icecream and passed out cuz he was a light weight. god the family guy is funny. Or should I just try to break it off with icecream and take up cake eating instead, since I know beer and cake can work together. The problem is you have to make cake. Icecream on the other hand is already made, by lots of little old ladies, some salt, and a bunch of hand-cranked wooden buckets. well, atleast thats the way they made it when I was little, its possible the process has changed a little since then. what to do what to do. any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.


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