Sunday, September 12, 2004

For Rick

My uncle, who just got back online after many months away (i dont know how he survived either) has finally started reading my blog, and he pointed out that I can be a bit long winded sometimes. Since we both have bad luck with women, I figured I'd write one we could both relate to. So here's one for you Rick a nice short top ten list.

As we all know, dating is tough. I mean really tough. It's hard to find a good woman these days, and for me it seems like I'm always picking the wrong ones. How do you know which ones will put up with your stupid jokes and stinky farts while making you dinner and cleaning up your house, and which ones will turn out to be psycho whores that bitch all the time and talk when the game's on. Well I can't give you all the answers, cuz I dont know 'em, but I've found a good place to start is with her name. You can learn a lot about a girl just by her name, kinda like the type of car she drives and the number of tattoos on her ass. So here now is my top ten list of girls to avoid:

1. Fran Tick - this girl is always stressed and doesnt know how to relax.

2. May Snap - doesn't need much provocation to fly into a rage. A single beer can in the sink or tryst with her mom would set her off.

3. Karen Baggage - this girl has more skeleton's in her closet than that crazy guy that lives next door to you. It's probably best that you dont call the cops when you hear those screams coming from his apartment, you wouldnt want to be on his bad side.

4. Lucy Fur - wants your soul. All the attention and rough stuff might seem cool at first, but when you start coming to work beat up all the time, "I fell down the steps" wont cut it if you live on the bottom floor.

5. Jen Durbinder - be careful when you take her home from the bar, that tight skirt might be full of surprises.

6. Barbie Chooit - she makes you feel great, you want to spend all of your time with her, but she's slowly killing you inside. Say goodbye to your friends and money.

7. Sharon Dizeez - she's been with more people then you've ever even known. Wrap it twice.

8. Cecilia Fate - this one's easy, everybody knows Italian girls are crazy. and you think she's crazy, just wait till you meet her family.

9. Mandy Stroyer - once long ago, a man did her wrong, now she's out to ruin every male she meets. good luck getting beer service while you're playing a video game.

10. Courtney Love - that bitch is just crazy.


Blogger rick said...

we're going to the wrong places to meet and great.
more intament what, i dont know.i seldom had any luck in the bar sceen and frankly i've lost intrest.i miss the little corner bars in pa, every body knew each other, pinball,had your own special seat usualy at the end of the bar. be nice to find something like that here.the beer needs to be cheap or my system won't handle it, give me an old mill any day!
being lonley sucks. right now i don't think i could handle a relationship.i need some more time with tara to figure it out,just make sense of stability.

love ya, rick

1:39 AM  
Blogger rick said...

so i'm highlighted in your latest blog, cool.
i wrote a response last night but, it didn't show up. help!
i started a blog but can't find it . some free weekend can you help me?
ps. i love cortney.

7:44 AM  

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