Monday, October 11, 2004

Happy Lost Adventurer Day

Well today is Columbus day, which as far as I know, is still a national holiday. Yet for some reason, I have to work. Stupid work. Anyway, I'm bettin I'm not the only one that has to work today, so for all you other poor saps, here's just a few ways to celebrate columbus day at work:

1. Hit up the boss for some money. Tell him its for a great new discovery. Get completely lost in your search. Tell him you found it, but you'll need more money for research.

2. Take credit for something you didnt do. Blow it completely out of proportion.

3. Call people by the wrong name and nationality.

4. Declare your floors dominance over all the other floors. Make up a flag and plant it on someone elses floor. If you have the power, change the locks.

5. Give work to other people over whom you have no authority. Threaten to throw them overboard if they dont comply.

6. Set free a bunch of rats on your floor. Make sure they are nicely diseased.

7. Raid the candy and soda machines on other floors. Dont feel you need to pay for anything, just smash them and take whatever you want. If anybody says anything, tell them its for the King.

8. Dont do any work. Blame it on the Muslims blocking your way and say you refuse to deal with them. Come up with some crazy round about way to get around the Muslims that will cost tons of money and people. Blow it all and dont actually accomplish what you set out to do.

9. Wear a captains hat and stare at an ocean screensaver till you puke.

10. Any time someone approaches your cube yell "Pirate" and stab them with a sword.


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